You might not be reading this but do you know how much my heart shatters every single fucking time I think about you? (Yes you crossed my mind only once, and since then, you never left) I'm sorry for turning you down just now. I just can't do it. I just can't face you. I knew I asked for this. And I was fucking mean to you but could you tell I didn't mean to. I said all that to make you hate me. Hate me to the fucking core until you don't even fucking care about me anymore. I guess I succeeded. All the things people have been telling me it's making me insaner than I already am. I chose to believe them because remember the first time this happened (can't remember but more than 4 god damn people told me you were all over this girl in a club when we were together) and when I questioned you,you denied. Only about 5 months after that you confessed and told me the truth. You're killing me from the inside. I miss you and I fucking love you with my heart but I just don't think this should go on.

I should stop talking about that. No,I must stop. Aisyah came over to my place today. I have missed her. We did so much catching up,painted our nails,shared our stories. Ahhh, she's the sister I never had. Believe it or not she's the only friend my grandmother likes and actually talks to. And she's my parents favourite girl. See you soon again okay. Pool with Shaa after that. Coincidentally met Faiz and Een there and hung out with them till late near my place after Shaa left. By the way, I might be changing my job by next week if my manager refuse to get back to me. AND NO,this time I will get my god damn pay before I quit.