When were together for the first few months, we worked out really well. Rarely had fights, I was always listening to you. It's like, I'm stuck to you. Wherever you were, there's me beside you all the time. I couldn't understand why you had to do that? Yes I am only referring to the time when you left me for somebody else, for nothing. Nights and nights I cried like a fucking mad woman, thinking why am I not enough for you? Don't I show you enough love?  Don't I treat you right? I know I'm not rich, I cannot buy things that you desire. I was so glad when you came back but in the months that came, I've never forgot what you did and I know never will. Even though we made ourselves look like we got back together but we weren't after that.

That incident and a lot of other things you did that I found out about haunts me every night. I've gone insane. You have made the biggest impact in my life this year. We were inseparable, remember? We fought for this love so hard. I have lost the battle, my heart cannot fight for this anymore. I was thinking for nights and nights. I still could not forgive you for what you did because it has affected me emotionally, really badly. We do not deserve each other.

Please,please,please if you ever want to find a girlfriend, do not do what you did to me or your previous ex girlfriends . I don't want anyone else to end up to a depressive state like I am still facing till now. This is the best for us.

Move on, go to school, make Ayah,Ibu,Abang Maidi,Nana & Saini proud. I know you're capable of it only that you're too lazy. In a year, you have taught me so much. Be it negatively or positively. I will cherish every moment I had with you, from the first time we met at City Hall during you birthday celebration in 2009 till the last time I met you days ago. I will not forget how we met, what we went through, all that we did together. Since April,only now I've finally the found courage to tell you and myself that I am moving on, without you. You can pull this through, I know you're very strong boy inside. I know you have changed a lot for me, but save that for the lucky girl in the future. You make a really good partner after the change but no, I just can't be with you.Yes it hurts me even more than I have hurt you to do this. I cannot go on with someone who treated me like I was trash in the past,even if he has changed because I am not a forgiving person and I can never forget ALL the things you did. Look at most of the jerks I've met in the past. I was dumped by them, just like how you did to me (only a few that I dumped because they could not accept me for who I am besides the point that I hated guys so much I went out to hurt the innocent ones too, and yes they know about it because I told them the truth ). I've always thought you were.. not like them. Sadly, I was wrong.

I put my hopes too high, the reason why I fell so hard that even after about 8 months, I'm still not over it. That is how much I love you and how much pain I've gone through each night thinking about it. I was with someone this morning, crying my eyeballs out,pulling my hair,punching the floor. I couldn't control myself at that point of time. Like something just got into me and I don't know. I felt like a mentally ill woman. Whatever it is,I won't take back the last words that I said. There's still more in store for us in the future. 

Be strong, like how I'm struggling now since months back. I want to say more but I just don't see the point. I reallylove you and I have never loved anyone this deep before. I will not call this karma like how I always did. This time I will call it a life time lesson, for the both of us. Take good care of yourself please especially your health. It was a good roller coaster ride with you we but I am putting this to an end. All the best in life.